Anonymous asked My secret? I walk by the train tracks everyday on my way to work and stand up on the bridge above them and look down and I just hope beyond hope that a little burst of wind or something will push me over and then when it doesn't I come home and mentally abuse myself to the point where I have to cut to stop me from destroying myself from the inside...I want to give up but I know if I finally killed myself my girlfriend would right after me...I don't know what to do and I can't keep going..help
my secret? i stopped looking when i crossed the street when i was 15. i only just started caring enough to look six months ago. we all go through bad times, some worse than others, but there’s always a light at the end of the tunnel. what you’re going through won’t last forever, but you have to go out there and get it. i didn’t get on the road to recovery by not doing anything to better myself. i had to get professional help, consciously take my medication every day, go to therapy, learn what to do instead of cutting myself, let people in, talk when i was sad, and most importantly, start loving myself. do i still have bad days? yes. will i struggle for the rest of my life? yes. but the important thing is that i’m trying and i don’t want to die anymore.
stand up and fight for yourself. remember that you have the freedom to choose the direction your life leads. if you’re not happy in your relationship and it’s not healthy, then you don’t have to be in it. if you’re not happy with your life, change it. i know you can do this. i believe in you.
take care. <3
My family always gets mad at me for taking long baths but I can’t help but wonder if they’d rather me cut myself instead.
Recovery isn’t supposed to be perfect. If you don’t mess up, it’s probably not recovery. It’s probably just denial.
My legs did not fare well against my shaving razor tonight. Getting out of the shower with bloody legs is too familiar to not be triggering. I hate shaving. :(
it’s been half a year since i last cut myself. no biggie. just resisted a constant urge for the past 180 days. just resisted a mental and physical addiction without slipping up once for the past 180 days. JUST BEAT MY FUCKING MENTAL ILLNESS INTO THE GROUND AND SPIT ON IT. *rips t shirt* I AM THE INCREDIBLE HULK.
WILL EVERYONE PLEASE CALM THE FUCK DOWN?!
Let’s get this straight. My actions ARE NOT the reason people relapse. People relapse because they CHOOSE to pick up the blade. They CHOOSE to cut or burn or whatever. It is THEIR RESPONSIBILITY. not mine.
More rebuttal after I’ve taken a moment to calm down. Stay tuned.